This Monday marked the tenth year since my father passed away. The events surrounding his passing profoundly changed my life. I was witness to his struggle with the process. His planning; when weeks before his death I sat with him on a sunny afternoon and he said, “this is a good time of day to die.” And he did, at that time a few short weeks later.
His acceptance; when my daughter presented him with a new shirt and tie she had purchased for him to be buried in. She told him it matched the dress we had buried my mother in three years earlier. He was deeply touched and accepted them gratefully. Then he said, “don’t forget my long johns because I’m going to be cold.” When he realized what he had said, much to his chagrin, he laughed at himself and my daughters and I laughed with him.
His fear; when deep in the night very close to the end he struggled to stand and said in anguish, “I can’t find my way.” I told him to look for mom, that she would help him find his way and like a child he settled and slept.
And finally, at that very moment when he took his final breath I held his hand. And I felt, no I knew more surely than anything I have ever felt or known in my entire life, except the love for my babies, that he and my mother were together again and I smiled through my tears and very nearly laughed out loud for the joy of it. 
Today, as I walked in a beautiful wood a blue jay crossed my path to sit on a tree ahead at a fork in the trail. These ten years I have “seen” my father come to me as the blue jay in times when I need direction, guidance, and support. Today I took the route marked by that blue jay and I came upon this beautiful old tree standing on a carpet of forget me nots. Message received Dad. With Love, Susan
swansroost 
Beautifully written.
Sal