On Cleaning Up and Mental Clarity, or Cluttered Space, Cluttered Mind, and Perspective

I recently stood on the roof of the ETEC building of the State University of New York at Albany’s campus and looked west toward home. The day was clear and sunny and the view was a stunner. I live at the base of the Helderberg Mountains (hills really) which are, I think, the dark blue line above the tree line (photo 1), also known as an escarpment. Along this escarpment, and part of a state park, is the Indian Ladder Trail. It is a worn rocky cliff edge path with small caves and seasonal falls of water. It is said that Native American’s used it to travel north and south through the area.

Photo 1 looking west.

I not often enough travel the 15 minutes from my house to the John Boyd Thacher State Park and look east into the distance at the white shiny rooftops and towers of the SUNY campus. In autumn the view is unbeatable. On this day I had perspective from the opposite direction.

Due to the most recent murder and mayhem that has become these United States I have been thinking about things having to do with perspective. I have newly found that I and some of my family are strongly divided by truth and belief. Others that I have only a shallow FB relationship with are canonizing an evil racists rabblerouser. They are perpetuating his belief that empathy is a new-age fake term for weakness and deception. I can only say that the man was documented as having said bad things about good people all in the name of making money. Murder is wrong, but “how you die doesn’t redeem how you lived.”

SUNY in the distance looking east.

As perspective changes with the view so the view changes with some much needed clean up. I KNOW that being the visual person I am my brain functions better when I have a clean palette. When I see space in my world I feel space in my being. Perhaps that is why the view from the park overlook is so soothing to me.

And that is why when I finish one project I do a cleaning of my space in preparation of the next project. However, sometimes that cleansing itself becomes a project. Most recently I picked up a few items along side the road; castoffs of someone else’s life. These were “free to a good home.” My favorite price. Cheap is good. Free is better.

This cabinet tempted me for days before I finally convinced my 6 year old grandson that we needed to load it into my car and bring it home. He, being a kindred spirit, was happy to oblige. And, for the brief 2 block ride home he sat, illegally, in the front seat of my car. Yes, we told his mom. Yes, She was angry. No, it will (probably) not happen again. And the cabinet fits the space next to the dryer perfectly.

I scored this charming set (!) of vintage luggage down the street from the same grandson’s 7th birthday celebration. As I was loading them in the car the “owner” came out of the house and said that her mother had used them on her honeymoon after her 1961 wedding. I’ve given them a cursery inspection and scrub with more to come, but oh, the story these bags can tell! I felt like a old movie bell hop as I tucked them under my arms and marched them into my house. Not gonna lie, I giggled.

I already have a small collection of vintage luggage that I use for storage and display. I have repurposed some and have plans for others. I refer you to a previous post June 20, 2016 “Reflections on an Old Suitcase on a Solstice Day,” But the beauty of this blue matched set is like something, well, from a movie. While I would like to keep them together I am not sure I have the space, physically or mentally. I am thinking of dontating them to the local drama club for their prop room.

As clean up and de-cluttering continue in preparation for the next project in the qeue I practice empathy for the children that have lost parents, the spouses who have lost partners and for the rest of us who have lost the perspective of kindness and understanding while the whole world is on fire.

More Or Less?

It’s Saturday morning and I am trying to stay on task, keep my train of thought from derailing and get this said. Thought, singular.

This is a second try at articulating something that has been on my mind since January 20, 2025. Something that has gotten louder and more urgent as the world that I chose to believe was real has shown it’s real truth through the attempt to force the vile and disgusting beliefs of the few onto the rest of us.

With Trump’s first administration I said out loud that his putrid behavior was giving permission to those who have always believed to take it out of their living room’s and bring it onto the streets. I was not wrong.

Now here we are on the brink of losing what Ben Franklin said, “was ours, if we could keep it.” Only about 250 years later this “experiment’ is threatened. Google says a generation is about 20-30 years. With that in mind one can say that our nation is only about 10 generations old. Maybe 30% of our historical population was THERE in the beginning?! If I am mathing correctly then all of this proves out what we all know; our nation is in it’s infancy. We are a baby nation. A baby nation that is cutting it’s teeth on each other and fighting over favorite stuffies and who gets to rule the playpen.

As an aging member of this nursery school I have been asking myself what I can, should, or want to do with what I believe to be my limited time on this side of the dirt. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a terminal illness or even limiting health issues. With proper care, feeding and good genes I may even make it into my 90’s; stuff my children’s nightmares are made of. But I have paid taxes, voted, contributed to society, and raised my children, I think pretty well. So, now I receive my hard earned pension and social security.

The world is a very different place now than in my youth, my child rearing years and even since I retired in 2016. Almost daily I have had to re-learn processes just to participate and it is exhausting. I have been a regular target of scammers. These days every email I get, web site I visit and contact I make leave me doubting authenticity. The amount of necessary time I have had to take to navigate all this is astounding. It’s been like a part time job. So I ask, “where is the joy?” Where is the unlimited “time” in this time of life in which I can just live and not worry? Where I can just paint, and not have to paint a protest sign. Where I can shop and not have to boycott.

This is my personal struggle. Every day I feel that more and more ugly is rearing it’s head. And I am wondering if ANY of it is really worth “saving” or if letting it all break just might be a good thing. Would I say that if I relied on government assistance to feed and cloth and keep a roof over my head? Maybe not. Am I a bad person for thinking it? Possibly. But I am thinking it. How much skin do I have in this game?